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Creating Motion in Fiction
The
reader of today,
because he is
so strongly
conditioned
by the movies
and television,
loses his interest
in a novel or
short story
easily when
the narrative
drones on and
on. To keep
the interest
of the reader,
the writer needs
to insert motion
into his storytelling.
This means not
just the characters
but also the
narrative need
to move with
action-producing
words and sentences,
as the expository
parts of the
work create
momentum and
evade flatness
and boredom.
To start with,
the show,
don't tell
principle has
to be at work
here, as trite
as it may sound.
Then, since
even the trite
principles need
an explanation,
here are a few
examples for
showing instead
of telling.
* She was bored
-- is better
shown as --
Yawning, she
tapped her fingers
on the desktop
and looked away.
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* He knew she was nice
to her children -- is
better shown as -- He
always caught sight
of her as she pushed
the baby in the stroller
while trying to hang
on to the toddler’s
hand. Her children,
with robust faces, cooed
and smiled at their
mother.
* She was shy -- is
better shown as -- Blushing,
she shrunk from being
touched or looked at
and said very few words
with an almost inaudible
voice.
* He imagines he is
going to win the boxing
match -- is better shown
as -- He imagines himself
grinning with delight
and waving at the crowd
amid a thunderous roar
of cheers, as the referee
holds his gloved hand
high.
To a novice writer, the skill with show, don't tell will come after a lot of practice. A practical exercise is to take an already written piece and circle all the sentences that can benefit from being shown and then to re-write the entire piece.
Another useful way for the writer to find out if he is telling instead of showing is to circle all the adjectives and adverbs in his story. Afterwards, he can try to replace what is in those circles with dynamic verbs and sensory phrases that draw vivid pictures.
To create motion in a piece of fiction, the pace of the scenes should be taken into consideration, also. Even if fluctuating the pace from one scene to another creates additional motion, variety, and interest in the story, the change of pace between the scenes must not disregard the overall pace of the work, and from scene to scene, that change must be eased in smoothly.
The genre of the story usually determines the right pace. A thriller, for example, will have faster scenes than a romance story. In addition, for faster scenes, the actions and the speech of the characters as well as the sentences need to be shorter in length to impart a feeling of vigor and immediacy.
Creating motion in a narrative will improve the effectiveness in the style of a writer; therefore, it is well worth the effort to practice, review, and re-write in order to carry one's craft forward.
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